Hello guys 🙂
It’s been a minute since I’ve actually greeted. I hope that you guys are great. Myself I’m ok. Happiness is a choice isn’t?
Isn’t it funny how when a relationship begins affinity is so high and when it has ended it’s on some super low? I’m just thinking about how it’s all a cycle. You meet. You date. You fall in love. You get into a relationship. Be together for a while. And then something happens and you can’t recover and so you go your seperate ways. After a while you have forgotten about that person. I mean how we move from talking almost all the time to not even having each other’s contacts. You get someone who used to walk outta meetings to take your call and now they can barely remember your existence. I mean… *sigh* It’s such a mind fuck honestly.
Anyway I’m not going through a break up or anything like that, quite to the contrary actually (zips lips) but I just came across something I wrote a few years back. It’s a fusion of two men that I was torn between and I honestly believe I ended up with the right one. For those who know me personally will remember the infamous #SmileKeeper. Oh man! Was I loved. Alas I wanted to share. I can’t believe I wrote this and now, much later, we might as well be strangers again. So this piece is what made me have something to say. Here goes.
[[He comes to see. Brings a friend. He really should’ve came alone.
He tells me I’m mature. I’m sexy. I’m beautiful. He says I’ve got beautiful eyes. But then he says I should lose weight, doesn’t touch me.
This man. I’ve known him for years now. It’s been so long. This man. That I met a couple of months ago. So young, so adventurous. So simple, too observant. He tells me not to change. He says there’s no one beyond me.
I’m afraid I might forget how his tongue tastes. I’ll forget stories he tells me. Of his struggles and his joy. Of his victories and his wars. Of dreams he has. I might forget his touch. His hand on my waist and how he looks at me. I might forget it all.
I might forget how he holds me tight, kisses my lower back, how he lightly kisses me. Gets up and spends the rest of the night in someone else’s arms.
Will I forget the night time drives to God knows where? Holding hands, half smiles, happiness, beer, wine, talking music, cars and football. Rolling blunts and tempting fate, trying destiny?
He thinks I’m perfect. He says I’m not healthy. He treats me like a child. Says I’m a grown woman. He’s seen me evolve with the years. He just met me, yet reads me so well.
I walk down the streets with him. Like a stranger. Like a best friend. They both have one thing in common. They tell me “baby, don’t change. Don’t ever change.”
Oh but how I will change. I will change.]]